Tag Archives: women

Exisiting with the Enemy


“In one ear, out the other.” “…like water on a ducks back” and any other common sayings you may think of.

When dealing with a circle of friends, its inevitable that everyone won’t get along perfectly. Something will be done or said that offends or annoys another. It is a struggle for some people to share air with someone they don’t really care for. Mature people should be able to hold conversations and space with someone they don’t really like. In the beginning it may be irritating or uncomfortable, but that’s because negative feelings are still brewing. Once a conversation is had to hash out an issue, regardless of the outcome, being around that person shouldn’t fluster you any longer. It should be easier to be cordial in a group setting, enjoy yourself, involve yourself in activities and conversation without having positive or negative emotions towards a particular person. Even if the conversation is more of an argument and disdain for one another is established, there should be no need for sly comments or ugly looks. Both parties said what they felt needed to be said, so why put energy into disliking someone. Explain your position and move on! Don’t allow it to suck life/joy from you.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on June 11, 2014 in Random thoughts


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Woman Worthy of Words

A lifestyle dedicated to helping others better their lives. A career dedicated to helping better the futures of numerous black students, creating a safe and caring environment in which the students of her school can be comfortable learning, in order to pursue their life goal of obtaining an education and living to see their name on a graduation announcement. Elizabeth Dozier is a principal who takes care of her students academically, as well as tries her best to protect them from the danger lurking the streets traveled to and from school.

The world’s initial introduction to this woman was on the first episode of CNN’s Chicagoland, an inside look at the happenings of Chicago. A look at the different events taking place in Chicago, in the life of Mayor Rahm Emmanuel, the police superintendent and prison system, different families affected by the school closings and the principal of Fenger High School, Elizabeth Dozier. Principal Dozier monitors the students’ actions inside and outside of school, maintains constant communication with the security at the school and the on duty police within the district. The show Chicagoland even shows Dozier reaching out to a past student in jail, helping to set up a life for him post incarceration. It shows how Dozier makes visits with the student, picks him up when he is released, and sets him up in a “halfway house” to help protect him from the temptations in his environment that sent him to jail the last time. This is evidence that her dedication goes beyond the four walls of her school.

In an interview with Mark Brown, Dozier speaks of how she wants people to understand that her school is a good school, and the children are capable of achieving success, that her school is not just a dumping ground for troubled youth. Not once in the interview does she mention herself, or how giving back to the community makes her feel. She is completely in the business of creating positive change for the community. Dozier handles situations that may be common in many other schools with similar demographics’. However, the grace in which she handles these challenges is what makes her worthy of recognition. Definitely qualified for national recognition, Elizabeth Dozier is a great role model and inspiration to many. Hats off to all service workers making a difference in such a challenging line of work.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on May 4, 2014 in Our Culture/Our World


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Friend, Follower, or Minion?

Things can become really strange in the friendship realm of women. Its really important in keeping up with the changes in your life, your friendships grow with you. As your personality and interest change, grow, or develop, your friendships must be aligned accordingly. There are several different types of friendships to be developed, as you travel on your journey of life, it is up to you to decide the types of friendships you want and from whom.

Watching a recent episode of a reality show Married to Medicine, the demise of the friendship between character Quad and Mariah-both wives of doctors- put me in the mind of a potential friendship I decided to cut off. Unsure of what events led to the disdain of one another, what was clear was how bitter the Mariah character seemed to be because of it. Her comments of “making” Quad relevant and tones of “disloyalty” translated to me as jealousy. These behaviors exhibited by Mariah tell me a story of wanting a follower and not a friend, wanting a minion, someone to cling to her every word as if they were gold. Someone to ride along with whatever decision was being made. So when the demands are not met, when disagreements come about, that’s when disloyalty is perceived. I met a person who seemed to be a good friend as long as the that person was in charge or the center of everything. The moment things weren’t revolving or including said person, tones of anger, jealousy, hatred, disdain, and envy were obvious in all conversation.

In listening to a speaker discuss how to be a friend, she discussed knowing your friend well enough to know what type of friend you can be and what type of friendship you can expect from different people. I agree in part with what she said. I have friends that I do different things with. Because I like a variety of things, I know which of my friends would be good company on different excursions. I wouldn’t invite a friend to workout with me, knowing this friend hates working out, will complain the entire time and make my workout miserable. But the speaker spoke of friends that were dishonest, thieves, and even manipulative in disrupting the harmony within her marriage.
When is enough, enough? There are a lot more people in this world worthy of my friendship. Why keep a friend in your life that is untrustworthy? Why entertain a friend who causes chaos and strife in your life? Her reasoning was to be an ultimate friend to whomever. A friend that worked with that person on their faults, or remained loyal as they struggled through their personality dysfunction.

In understanding the “loving thy enemy” way of life, I also understand that He is still working on me.

Just a lil bit of the TRUTH

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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Reality Rewind


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Leaders of our World

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles, but today it means getting along with people.” Mahatma Gandhi

Who is a leader? What makes a leader? What qualities and characteristics make for a leader? Which unqualified leaders have previously held position? How do unqualified leaders gain position?

This blog was inspired by the viewing of the first episode of Blood Sweat & Heels, a show that airs on Bravo Sundays at 9/8c. On the episode the ladies were at a brunch hosted by cast member Daisy Lewellyn. Another cast member Demetria Lucas blogged on this brunch in regards to relationships and snooping on cheating men. There was something that stood out much more to me as a woman. A topic that I thought would generate more of a response than the broken record of cheating boyfriends. In one of the many topics discussed at the brunch the ladies had disagreements in regards to gender and leadership. Some comments made seemed to be those of old. Comments of men making better leaders than women, and women having the responsibility of following the leadership of a man. A comment that the host Daisy made referred to men being better leaders because of women and their monthly menstruation. *GASP* Do women really still think like this? I’m not as taken aback when men make comments such as this, but for a woman to think that because of our hormone fluctuation each month we wouldn’t make good leaders is mind boggling. This coming from a woman who is a style expert, TV Personality and has written a book. Which qualities must one possess to accomplish things of this caliber? Are those qualities similar to the qualities of a leader? She expounds on her views by expressing how she grew up admiring her father who was the head of the household. She has traditional views and feels that traditional men should be leaders. She even takes it as far as to say that women who have weaker boyfriends are lame and the woman is probably cheating on him.

Women can be leaders, women are capable of leading, and lead most things behind the scenes. Naturally women are nurturing and tend to use emotions in their actions. I agree in that aspect, but I also know some pretty heartless women.

Nonetheless we are all entitled to our opinions, and no one should be take a verbal beating because of it.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on February 9, 2014 in Our Culture/Our World, Reality Rewind


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An approach taken by some religious people who believe that we can live harmoniously in our own faith and beliefs. Creating an understanding across the division of different faiths. Where your opinion might differ in taking this approach in religion, it is a way of life we all should inhabit in social arenas. Can you not be cordial? Is it impossible to be in the same room with an “enemy” and not speak but still enjoy yourself? Does your disdain for a person’s being upset you to the point of irritation?

In self acceptance, you may be able to overcome the hatred or dislike of another person. Although it may not sound connected, the ability to remain calm and pleasant around people you aren’t particularly fond of, or which you may have had an altercation (verbal or physical) is related to being happy with yourself and your life.

There are some people who can’t have a conversation with a general group of people if there is one person with whom they don’t get along. They get flustered and irritated at the presence of a person they don’t like. It is important to allow certain feelings and words to go in one ear and out the other. After the disdain for someone has been established, words have been exchanged-there is no room for ugly looks, sly comments or irritation. By all means you are entitled to not like someone, it’s impossible to like everyone and their actions, but don’t let it suck you in emotionally, it can be draining.

Is it possible to enter into a room or conversation with someone you don’t like and have no feelings or emotions, positive or negative about the situation? I challenge you to try to erase any negative emotions towards a person, put yourself in a situation around that person and feel a sense of freedom when you are able to feel free of tension. And although the other party may not have let go of their inhibitions, your actions may silently encourage them to release the tension that is binding.

The phrase “Like water on a ducks back” is a phrase to take to heart, not allowing small issues of the world to infect your psyche as there are enough things in life that will attempt to contaminate your being. Control that which you can!

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on December 29, 2013 in Our Culture/Our World, Random thoughts


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Acceptance through Assimilation

This month's cover of O Magazine

This month’s cover of O Magazine

Watching TV, (DVR only, don’t watch commercials much anymore) Dish Nation, my favorite radio TV show, and the topic of discussion is OPRAH and the Cover of this month’s magazine. The cover features Oprah as most of the issues do, only this time she’s rocking a blown out extensive afro. LOVE IT! Heidi Hamilton, the radio host of The Frank & Heidi Show of 95.5 KLOS Los Angeles made negative comments in regards to Oprah and her fro. This surprised me, as all of the comments I heard about this cover expressed how great this photo was. But was that only in the black community in which I immerse myself-friends, talk shows, TV & radio stations?
Instagram posts and comments from US

Instagram posts and comments from US

Instagram post and comments from US

Instagram post and comments from US

(CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO BETTER READ THE CAPTION! sorry for the strain on your eyes)

On INSTAGRAM I came across a few photos that expressed the same dislike of Oprah’s magazine cover. Comments about her hair being ratchet and crazy. This made me wonder was it because they truly thought this picture was bad or was her hair considered “BAD”?

Instagram comments & posts from "Them"

Instagram comments & posts from “Them”

Instagram comments and posts from "Them"

Instagram comments and posts from “Them”

Instagram posts and comments from "Them"

Instagram posts and comments from “Them”

Now I can’t knock people’s opinions, especially radio hosts-that’s their job; What bothers me is the fact that THIS particular cover depicted a strong powerful WEALTHY woman in a NATURUAL hair state (Given there were hair pieces added). The texture of the hair is kinky curly, as opposed to her other covers where it’s straightened.

I understand you are entitled to your opinion, but those are like Belly Buttons-everyone has one, yet mine is cuter.

It floors me, and I’m unsure why-I know the image of a black woman in the natural state is intimidating- yet I guess I just forgot that some White people can’t take the look of black people. From the wide spread nose, plump juicy lips to our various complexions, curves and kinky curls of hair. I bet “they” were happier than “us” when the invention of “hair refining” tools came about. “Finally! Tame those N**g*s and that hair!”

The way we are just isn’t good enough.

How many years have we been in existence in this country and we are still not accepted as we are. We only become accepted as a people if we look and live as White people do, assimilating to their image of perfection, which is more than disturbing. I was guilty of being annoyed by the massive fashion trend of Black women and natural hair. Now I want us all to revert back to our natural state of being, forcing “them” into loving US. When “they” start hating on the richest woman in the world we DEFINITELY have a problem.

Embrace us as we ARE

Embrace us as we ARE

Just a lil of the TRUTH

Blog address I stumbled upon when browsing the internet for hours on end (as I do regularly)Natural Hair:


Posted by on August 10, 2013 in Our Culture/Our World, Random thoughts


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Cattiness aside

Courtesy of Google Images

Courtesy of Google Images

Step out of the box; Try something new; Move outside of your comfort zone. I’m talking about NETWORKING! The most powerful opportunity available to you! When you hear the word NETWORK, of course you think of business promotion or opportunities. GROWTH! Business, school, financial, spiritual, personal and social. Networking helps in all areas of life.
In the world of WOMEN, it seems so difficult or challenging to reach out to the female counterpart. Competition seems to always exists regardless of the situation. Must we be so petty, catty, jealous of one another’s strengths or possessions?
It seemed so easy for men to create long lasting friendships or brotherhoods, yet women enter into friendly relationships with inhibitions and cautiousness. Sports and technology of any kind is a commonality that most men share. Women share more commonalities/interests yet can’t find the right fit of friends. With the repertoire of interests-shopping, cooking, working, fashion, hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, children, men- our gender has the gift of gab and enjoys socializing, yet in a room full of women we only speak with whom we know.

Are we that judgmental or envious that we cannot enjoy genuine company and conversation without thinking a step ahead?

Without a receptive personality, you can become just a person in passing. Most recently I’ve tried a different approach, and the connections that I’ve made, the experiences I’ve enjoyed have all been rejuvenating. I see future opportunities for business and financial growth.

I challenge for you to evaluate your approach when meeting someone new, especially a woman. Enter into conversation with a nonjudgmental attitude, Be yourself within edit (everything doesn’t have to be said or expressed), Understand that everything said is not with positive or negative intentions. Gain the ability to approach a situation openly.

Take the time to reflect on the people around you, what is their purpose in your life?
People are put in your life for a reason and a season. Take the opportunity to use the tools placed in your pathway that can make for a better YOU.

Just a lil of the TRUTH

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Posted by on August 8, 2013 in Our Culture/Our World


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