Tag Archives: friendship


A child, reaching into an oversized toy box, searching and digging for the best toy for that moment. The toy that is most interesting, the toy that all the other kids will reach for in jealousy. The five minute attention holding toy. And so it happens, wrapping fingers around the long fat tube, pulling through all the other playful obscurities. A child holds this thing in the air as if its a victorious find. One small hole to look through, and on the other end different shapes. Looking through the kaleidoscope the child sees different shapes and colors. Turning it to see more shapes and colors. Discovering the changes in what is viewed as it is moved, shaken and turned.
Know any people like that?

Some people waver with whichever way they are shaken, turned, or moved. Affectionately known as FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS. These people are definitely seasonal. I know a girl who took on the personality of whomever she was dating. She drank champagne with her drunken boyfriend, saved souls while dating a minister, shaved her head and embraced her natural self when dating the Muslim. As a married woman will her husband even know who he married? I’m sure she will take on his personality.

This leads me to think of those surrounding us who don’t have a personality of their own. All of your thoughts are their thoughts. All of your opinions are their opinions. These people are difficult to detect at first, they seem to have the potential to be a really good friend. It starts out because you both seem to have so much in common, not knowing they are just agreeing with everything, liking everything, seemingly desperate for a friend. Call me crazy but I like friends I can learn from, friends who experience life slightly different than myself so that I can be exposed to things outside of my norm. I like having friends that I can have healthy discussions and debates with, knowing our difference of opinion or views won’t affect our friendship.

All “Yes Men” exit stage left.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on July 12, 2014 in Random thoughts


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Exisiting with the Enemy


“In one ear, out the other.” “…like water on a ducks back” and any other common sayings you may think of.

When dealing with a circle of friends, its inevitable that everyone won’t get along perfectly. Something will be done or said that offends or annoys another. It is a struggle for some people to share air with someone they don’t really care for. Mature people should be able to hold conversations and space with someone they don’t really like. In the beginning it may be irritating or uncomfortable, but that’s because negative feelings are still brewing. Once a conversation is had to hash out an issue, regardless of the outcome, being around that person shouldn’t fluster you any longer. It should be easier to be cordial in a group setting, enjoy yourself, involve yourself in activities and conversation without having positive or negative emotions towards a particular person. Even if the conversation is more of an argument and disdain for one another is established, there should be no need for sly comments or ugly looks. Both parties said what they felt needed to be said, so why put energy into disliking someone. Explain your position and move on! Don’t allow it to suck life/joy from you.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on June 11, 2014 in Random thoughts


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Authentic Adulation

“Competing is intense among humans, and within a group, selfish individuals always win. But in contests between groups, groups of altruists always beat groups of selfish individuals.” E.O Wilson

Keep people in your circle that are genuinely content with themselves. People who are certifiably encouraging of you, people who promote success for all. “we want to see us win”.

Hater—-a played out term that hasn’t lost its weight— people who don’t have enough confidence in themselves to be happy for you result in sad individuals.

Although there is evil or jealousy within both genders, it seems more prevalent amongst women. The catty back biting, and internal yearn for another woman’s demise is sickening. Going through this journey of life, you will encounter several people encouraging of your success as long as it is either beneficial to their success, or doesn’t confine their happiness. But when you meet those who have a spirit of peace about themselves, keep them around. You need encouraging support in your life.

Of course I’m transitioning out of the reality TV watching realm of my life, finishing this season out. So in watching Married to Medicine, I was reminded that regardless of the level of success, that green-eyed monster surfaces. What Mariah wanted was to put her “friends” Quad, Rico Chappell and even her “stylist” cousin in a position where they felt like they owed her something. But where she messed up was assuming these individuals weren’t just that-INDIVIDUALS. Having a mind of their own, they made decisions that were best for them, and if that meant including or excluding Ms. Mariah than so be it. It’s sad that women find themselves in competition, or ranking order just like Dr. Heavenly. Rather than being happy or supportive of Lisa’s event and forum, she felt she needed to prove herself worthy amongst the women on the panel. She didn’t want to fall short on the ranking list of success. She took it upon herself to include herself on the panel. She’s lucky Lisa is a lady, and conducts herself in such a manner (so far anyway, the season is just starting) because I might have politely escorted her off of that stage and into the parking lot. “Security!”

Take caution with those increasingly concerned in your endeavors. Consider their intent in inquiry. Are they interested out of concern or personal gain? “Smiling faces, smiling faces some times…” th_keepsmilincat (3)


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NOT The Time or Place

Screenshot (9) Screenshot (10)
Is setting something to consider when deciding to hash out disagreements? The outcome of many arguments could be different depending on setting and timing.

How ironic that the drama comes to a head at the Women’s Empowerment Network (reality TV sets the stage so often)

On the past episode of Married to Medicine, the ladies attended cast mate Lisa Nicole’s conference. Of course the stage was set when everyone but the infamous Mariah was in attendance. The ladies seemed to be getting along fine, until intermission in the relaxation room. Toya and Dr. Simone’s spat that truthfully shouldn’t have even aired on the show was the first offence in the TRANQUILITY ROOM. Toya should have addressed the situation about Simone dancing with her husband at the bowling alley, but that might have cut Toya’s storyline short. She’s not a doctor, she doesn’t work, she just spends money, even against her own parent’s advice. She doesn’t have anything interesting enough worth filming, so I guess she did the smart move in creating a story. I’m not a fan of their “beef” and really hope that was the last episode hashing out that issue.

When Mariah walks in to the conference late, my thoughts and the thoughts of many viewers were of inquiry. “Why show up? Showing up to bring drama?” She wanted a show from the time she entered the room, the late arrival, the speaking to Quad (appearance of being cordial), sitting next to Quad, and discussing their differences with Dr. Simone. No one asked what was going on between the two, she voluntarily gave information about Quad not holding conversation with her at the table.
I applaud Ms. Quad for approaching the situation to find out what was being discussed. However, it escalated the situation. Can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. The biggest mistake Ms. Quad made was showing her emotions, showing she was hurt, and cared about her friendship with Mariah. People like Mariah prey on weakness, and at that moment when Quad began crying, Mariah felt high on the throne, and even said so “I will not come down of my chariot…”
ATTN: Ms. Mariah you dethroned yourself the moment you spoke on the situation.

I will give it to her, she has some great one-liners. “I…with Transformers, and especially not Decepticons.” However the comment was directed towards herself. She tried maintaining her composure, but almost had a slip of tongue, wanting to shout out obscenities, and Ms. Quad called her on that!

As I’ve always been a fan of Quad, and she has always been my favorite. I do love the new Ms. Quad. She seems like a more pleasant person, she is genuinely friendly around all of the ladies, and doesn’t have to put on a façade of comfort to prove loyalty to a shady person with a diminutive personality who over compensates for it by projecting “royalty” while her inner hood-rat seeps out.
Definitely tuning in to the next episode to see how this drama concludes.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Reality Rewind


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Friend, Follower, or Minion?

Things can become really strange in the friendship realm of women. Its really important in keeping up with the changes in your life, your friendships grow with you. As your personality and interest change, grow, or develop, your friendships must be aligned accordingly. There are several different types of friendships to be developed, as you travel on your journey of life, it is up to you to decide the types of friendships you want and from whom.

Watching a recent episode of a reality show Married to Medicine, the demise of the friendship between character Quad and Mariah-both wives of doctors- put me in the mind of a potential friendship I decided to cut off. Unsure of what events led to the disdain of one another, what was clear was how bitter the Mariah character seemed to be because of it. Her comments of “making” Quad relevant and tones of “disloyalty” translated to me as jealousy. These behaviors exhibited by Mariah tell me a story of wanting a follower and not a friend, wanting a minion, someone to cling to her every word as if they were gold. Someone to ride along with whatever decision was being made. So when the demands are not met, when disagreements come about, that’s when disloyalty is perceived. I met a person who seemed to be a good friend as long as the that person was in charge or the center of everything. The moment things weren’t revolving or including said person, tones of anger, jealousy, hatred, disdain, and envy were obvious in all conversation.

In listening to a speaker discuss how to be a friend, she discussed knowing your friend well enough to know what type of friend you can be and what type of friendship you can expect from different people. I agree in part with what she said. I have friends that I do different things with. Because I like a variety of things, I know which of my friends would be good company on different excursions. I wouldn’t invite a friend to workout with me, knowing this friend hates working out, will complain the entire time and make my workout miserable. But the speaker spoke of friends that were dishonest, thieves, and even manipulative in disrupting the harmony within her marriage.
When is enough, enough? There are a lot more people in this world worthy of my friendship. Why keep a friend in your life that is untrustworthy? Why entertain a friend who causes chaos and strife in your life? Her reasoning was to be an ultimate friend to whomever. A friend that worked with that person on their faults, or remained loyal as they struggled through their personality dysfunction.

In understanding the “loving thy enemy” way of life, I also understand that He is still working on me.

Just a lil bit of the TRUTH

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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Reality Rewind


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Friends Don’t Let Friends…

Why do friends let each other go places looking any kind of way without advising them differently. Women act as if it’s a crime to express their opinion of their friends appearance. If a mere comment distorts a friendship, was it a true friendship, or a “familiarity” relationship?

Now I’m not talking about those eccentric fashionistas. Everyone is entitled to their own style, those BOHO chic, Punk Rocker, or even Urban wear dressed friends do what they do well. Those who dress in unflattering pieces for their body type should be advised otherwise. I LOVE to see people with different styles, expression or personality differences are what make us human, but some people just look like they don’t know any better. If advice is given and not heeded then you tried…they can never say they didn’t know.

That baby hair? She's not a little girl, she's in her 40's

That baby hair? She’s not a little girl, she’s in her 40’s

That Turtleneck

He was on TvOne and had the nerve to be discussing someone else's fashion faux pas.

He was on TvOne and had the nerve to be discussing someone else’s fashion faux pas.


I’m no self proclaimed fashionista, but I am a true friend, and when shopping with a friend or getting dolled up for an event, I would hope they advise me on less flattering garments, as I would do the same. If however you are advised, but you like what you have on then DO It HONEY and do it well, but looks are just unacceptable.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on February 8, 2014 in Daily READ, Random thoughts


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Cattiness aside

Courtesy of Google Images

Courtesy of Google Images

Step out of the box; Try something new; Move outside of your comfort zone. I’m talking about NETWORKING! The most powerful opportunity available to you! When you hear the word NETWORK, of course you think of business promotion or opportunities. GROWTH! Business, school, financial, spiritual, personal and social. Networking helps in all areas of life.
In the world of WOMEN, it seems so difficult or challenging to reach out to the female counterpart. Competition seems to always exists regardless of the situation. Must we be so petty, catty, jealous of one another’s strengths or possessions?
It seemed so easy for men to create long lasting friendships or brotherhoods, yet women enter into friendly relationships with inhibitions and cautiousness. Sports and technology of any kind is a commonality that most men share. Women share more commonalities/interests yet can’t find the right fit of friends. With the repertoire of interests-shopping, cooking, working, fashion, hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, children, men- our gender has the gift of gab and enjoys socializing, yet in a room full of women we only speak with whom we know.

Are we that judgmental or envious that we cannot enjoy genuine company and conversation without thinking a step ahead?

Without a receptive personality, you can become just a person in passing. Most recently I’ve tried a different approach, and the connections that I’ve made, the experiences I’ve enjoyed have all been rejuvenating. I see future opportunities for business and financial growth.

I challenge for you to evaluate your approach when meeting someone new, especially a woman. Enter into conversation with a nonjudgmental attitude, Be yourself within edit (everything doesn’t have to be said or expressed), Understand that everything said is not with positive or negative intentions. Gain the ability to approach a situation openly.

Take the time to reflect on the people around you, what is their purpose in your life?
People are put in your life for a reason and a season. Take the opportunity to use the tools placed in your pathway that can make for a better YOU.

Just a lil of the TRUTH

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Posted by on August 8, 2013 in Our Culture/Our World


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