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Kaleidoscope

kaleidoscope
A child, reaching into an oversized toy box, searching and digging for the best toy for that moment. The toy that is most interesting, the toy that all the other kids will reach for in jealousy. The five minute attention holding toy. And so it happens, wrapping fingers around the long fat tube, pulling through all the other playful obscurities. A child holds this thing in the air as if its a victorious find. One small hole to look through, and on the other end different shapes. Looking through the kaleidoscope the child sees different shapes and colors. Turning it to see more shapes and colors. Discovering the changes in what is viewed as it is moved, shaken and turned.
Know any people like that?

Some people waver with whichever way they are shaken, turned, or moved. Affectionately known as FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS. These people are definitely seasonal. I know a girl who took on the personality of whomever she was dating. She drank champagne with her drunken boyfriend, saved souls while dating a minister, shaved her head and embraced her natural self when dating the Muslim. As a married woman will her husband even know who he married? I’m sure she will take on his personality.

This leads me to think of those surrounding us who don’t have a personality of their own. All of your thoughts are their thoughts. All of your opinions are their opinions. These people are difficult to detect at first, they seem to have the potential to be a really good friend. It starts out because you both seem to have so much in common, not knowing they are just agreeing with everything, liking everything, seemingly desperate for a friend. Call me crazy but I like friends I can learn from, friends who experience life slightly different than myself so that I can be exposed to things outside of my norm. I like having friends that I can have healthy discussions and debates with, knowing our difference of opinion or views won’t affect our friendship.

All “Yes Men” exit stage left.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2014 in Random thoughts

 

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Exisiting with the Enemy

BLOGGING CHALLENGE A-Z Letter “E”:

“In one ear, out the other.” “…like water on a ducks back” and any other common sayings you may think of.

When dealing with a circle of friends, its inevitable that everyone won’t get along perfectly. Something will be done or said that offends or annoys another. It is a struggle for some people to share air with someone they don’t really care for. Mature people should be able to hold conversations and space with someone they don’t really like. In the beginning it may be irritating or uncomfortable, but that’s because negative feelings are still brewing. Once a conversation is had to hash out an issue, regardless of the outcome, being around that person shouldn’t fluster you any longer. It should be easier to be cordial in a group setting, enjoy yourself, involve yourself in activities and conversation without having positive or negative emotions towards a particular person. Even if the conversation is more of an argument and disdain for one another is established, there should be no need for sly comments or ugly looks. Both parties said what they felt needed to be said, so why put energy into disliking someone. Explain your position and move on! Don’t allow it to suck life/joy from you.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2014 in Random thoughts

 

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Authentic Adulation

“Competing is intense among humans, and within a group, selfish individuals always win. But in contests between groups, groups of altruists always beat groups of selfish individuals.” E.O Wilson

Keep people in your circle that are genuinely content with themselves. People who are certifiably encouraging of you, people who promote success for all. “we want to see us win”.

Hater—-a played out term that hasn’t lost its weight— people who don’t have enough confidence in themselves to be happy for you result in sad individuals.

Although there is evil or jealousy within both genders, it seems more prevalent amongst women. The catty back biting, and internal yearn for another woman’s demise is sickening. Going through this journey of life, you will encounter several people encouraging of your success as long as it is either beneficial to their success, or doesn’t confine their happiness. But when you meet those who have a spirit of peace about themselves, keep them around. You need encouraging support in your life.

Of course I’m transitioning out of the reality TV watching realm of my life, finishing this season out. So in watching Married to Medicine, I was reminded that regardless of the level of success, that green-eyed monster surfaces. What Mariah wanted was to put her “friends” Quad, Rico Chappell and even her “stylist” cousin in a position where they felt like they owed her something. But where she messed up was assuming these individuals weren’t just that-INDIVIDUALS. Having a mind of their own, they made decisions that were best for them, and if that meant including or excluding Ms. Mariah than so be it. It’s sad that women find themselves in competition, or ranking order just like Dr. Heavenly. Rather than being happy or supportive of Lisa’s event and forum, she felt she needed to prove herself worthy amongst the women on the panel. She didn’t want to fall short on the ranking list of success. She took it upon herself to include herself on the panel. She’s lucky Lisa is a lady, and conducts herself in such a manner (so far anyway, the season is just starting) because I might have politely escorted her off of that stage and into the parking lot. “Security!”

Take caution with those increasingly concerned in your endeavors. Consider their intent in inquiry. Are they interested out of concern or personal gain? “Smiling faces, smiling faces some times…” th_keepsmilincat (3)

 
 

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NOT The Time or Place

Screenshot (9) Screenshot (10)
Is setting something to consider when deciding to hash out disagreements? The outcome of many arguments could be different depending on setting and timing.

How ironic that the drama comes to a head at the Women’s Empowerment Network (reality TV sets the stage so often)

On the past episode of Married to Medicine, the ladies attended cast mate Lisa Nicole’s conference. Of course the stage was set when everyone but the infamous Mariah was in attendance. The ladies seemed to be getting along fine, until intermission in the relaxation room. Toya and Dr. Simone’s spat that truthfully shouldn’t have even aired on the show was the first offence in the TRANQUILITY ROOM. Toya should have addressed the situation about Simone dancing with her husband at the bowling alley, but that might have cut Toya’s storyline short. She’s not a doctor, she doesn’t work, she just spends money, even against her own parent’s advice. She doesn’t have anything interesting enough worth filming, so I guess she did the smart move in creating a story. I’m not a fan of their “beef” and really hope that was the last episode hashing out that issue.

When Mariah walks in to the conference late, my thoughts and the thoughts of many viewers were of inquiry. “Why show up? Showing up to bring drama?” She wanted a show from the time she entered the room, the late arrival, the speaking to Quad (appearance of being cordial), sitting next to Quad, and discussing their differences with Dr. Simone. No one asked what was going on between the two, she voluntarily gave information about Quad not holding conversation with her at the table.
I applaud Ms. Quad for approaching the situation to find out what was being discussed. However, it escalated the situation. Can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. The biggest mistake Ms. Quad made was showing her emotions, showing she was hurt, and cared about her friendship with Mariah. People like Mariah prey on weakness, and at that moment when Quad began crying, Mariah felt high on the throne, and even said so “I will not come down of my chariot…”
ATTN: Ms. Mariah you dethroned yourself the moment you spoke on the situation.

I will give it to her, she has some great one-liners. “I…with Transformers, and especially not Decepticons.” However the comment was directed towards herself. She tried maintaining her composure, but almost had a slip of tongue, wanting to shout out obscenities, and Ms. Quad called her on that!

As I’ve always been a fan of Quad, and she has always been my favorite. I do love the new Ms. Quad. She seems like a more pleasant person, she is genuinely friendly around all of the ladies, and doesn’t have to put on a façade of comfort to prove loyalty to a shady person with a diminutive personality who over compensates for it by projecting “royalty” while her inner hood-rat seeps out.
Definitely tuning in to the next episode to see how this drama concludes.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

 
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Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Reality Rewind

 

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Friend, Follower, or Minion?

Things can become really strange in the friendship realm of women. Its really important in keeping up with the changes in your life, your friendships grow with you. As your personality and interest change, grow, or develop, your friendships must be aligned accordingly. There are several different types of friendships to be developed, as you travel on your journey of life, it is up to you to decide the types of friendships you want and from whom.

Watching a recent episode of a reality show Married to Medicine, the demise of the friendship between character Quad and Mariah-both wives of doctors- put me in the mind of a potential friendship I decided to cut off. Unsure of what events led to the disdain of one another, what was clear was how bitter the Mariah character seemed to be because of it. Her comments of “making” Quad relevant and tones of “disloyalty” translated to me as jealousy. These behaviors exhibited by Mariah tell me a story of wanting a follower and not a friend, wanting a minion, someone to cling to her every word as if they were gold. Someone to ride along with whatever decision was being made. So when the demands are not met, when disagreements come about, that’s when disloyalty is perceived. I met a person who seemed to be a good friend as long as the that person was in charge or the center of everything. The moment things weren’t revolving or including said person, tones of anger, jealousy, hatred, disdain, and envy were obvious in all conversation.

In listening to a speaker discuss how to be a friend, she discussed knowing your friend well enough to know what type of friend you can be and what type of friendship you can expect from different people. I agree in part with what she said. I have friends that I do different things with. Because I like a variety of things, I know which of my friends would be good company on different excursions. I wouldn’t invite a friend to workout with me, knowing this friend hates working out, will complain the entire time and make my workout miserable. But the speaker spoke of friends that were dishonest, thieves, and even manipulative in disrupting the harmony within her marriage.
*********************************************WHAT?************************************************************
When is enough, enough? There are a lot more people in this world worthy of my friendship. Why keep a friend in your life that is untrustworthy? Why entertain a friend who causes chaos and strife in your life? Her reasoning was to be an ultimate friend to whomever. A friend that worked with that person on their faults, or remained loyal as they struggled through their personality dysfunction.

In understanding the “loving thy enemy” way of life, I also understand that He is still working on me.

Just a lil bit of the TRUTH

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Reality Rewind

 

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Ain’t Nothin’ But G-String Baby!

Truly girl talk on this post!!! I recently brought up a topic to my friends out of curiosity. Girls talk about EVERYTHING with our close friends, or sometimes whom ever will listen. We discuss friends, enemies, share recipes, share sexual experience stories, and changes in our bodies. Talking to each other, confiding in one another is what helps us stay aware and current on different issues, ranging from social issues to health topics. Our conversations seem to bond our sisterhood.

So recently I brought up a topic of women wearing PANTIES in public. Recalling a conversation I had with a friend about wearing panties when we go out partying, she explained that I was the only girl she knew that wore them when going out. This came as news to me, I thought most women wore panties REPHRASE – I thought most LADIES wore panties. So in remembering this conversation, and me being the semi-candid friend that I am, I asked a few different ladies from different walks of life, and different ways of living. These women both gave me the same answer of mostly going different places commando (is it still called commando if women aren’t wearing underwear? Is it gender based?). I then brought the question to a few other ladies, determined not to give up on my quest to find PANTIED PEOPLE-it couldn’t be that I was the only one wearing panties, it couldn’t be that I was the only one concerned about protecting myself as much as possible from microscopic organisms, and discomfort. Bracing myself for their answer to be the same as the others, I was ready to be the last woman to burn my panties in celebration of the NO PANTY PARTY. Finally I saw the light. I actually had friends who WORE PANTIES!!! We discussed the whole topic, from reasons we thought were acceptable panty-less moments, reasons we enjoyed wearing and shopping for panties, to find we knew women who didn’t wear panties even with jeans. We couldn’t find any respectable reasons not to wear them.

Now, I understand that these aren’t ALWAYS worn, there are instances when joining the PANTILESS PARTY isn’t a far fetched idea. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that I was the last female young adult to wear panties. In hindsight, even entertaining the idea was silly on my part. The panty industry is a seemingly profitable one (see Hanes, Fruit of the Loom, and the largest American retailer of lingerie Victoria Secret). From “granny panties” to thongs there is an undergarment for every garment, for every lady, for every occasion.

Not judging, to each its own, but if you’re reading this, and you have an idea as to any respectable reasons, please leave a comment.

Just a lil bit of THE TRUTH

 
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Posted by on April 20, 2014 in My Reality Show, Random thoughts

 

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Coexistence

coexist
An approach taken by some religious people who believe that we can live harmoniously in our own faith and beliefs. Creating an understanding across the division of different faiths. Where your opinion might differ in taking this approach in religion, it is a way of life we all should inhabit in social arenas. Can you not be cordial? Is it impossible to be in the same room with an “enemy” and not speak but still enjoy yourself? Does your disdain for a person’s being upset you to the point of irritation?

In self acceptance, you may be able to overcome the hatred or dislike of another person. Although it may not sound connected, the ability to remain calm and pleasant around people you aren’t particularly fond of, or which you may have had an altercation (verbal or physical) is related to being happy with yourself and your life.

There are some people who can’t have a conversation with a general group of people if there is one person with whom they don’t get along. They get flustered and irritated at the presence of a person they don’t like. It is important to allow certain feelings and words to go in one ear and out the other. After the disdain for someone has been established, words have been exchanged-there is no room for ugly looks, sly comments or irritation. By all means you are entitled to not like someone, it’s impossible to like everyone and their actions, but don’t let it suck you in emotionally, it can be draining.

Is it possible to enter into a room or conversation with someone you don’t like and have no feelings or emotions, positive or negative about the situation? I challenge you to try to erase any negative emotions towards a person, put yourself in a situation around that person and feel a sense of freedom when you are able to feel free of tension. And although the other party may not have let go of their inhibitions, your actions may silently encourage them to release the tension that is binding.

The phrase “Like water on a ducks back” is a phrase to take to heart, not allowing small issues of the world to infect your psyche as there are enough things in life that will attempt to contaminate your being. Control that which you can!

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2013 in Our Culture/Our World, Random thoughts

 

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