Category Archives: Reality Rewind

My opinion on different situations depicted in the “REALity” of the shows

I’m a reality show junkie!

Authentic Adulation

“Competing is intense among humans, and within a group, selfish individuals always win. But in contests between groups, groups of altruists always beat groups of selfish individuals.” E.O Wilson

Keep people in your circle that are genuinely content with themselves. People who are certifiably encouraging of you, people who promote success for all. “we want to see us win”.

Hater—-a played out term that hasn’t lost its weight— people who don’t have enough confidence in themselves to be happy for you result in sad individuals.

Although there is evil or jealousy within both genders, it seems more prevalent amongst women. The catty back biting, and internal yearn for another woman’s demise is sickening. Going through this journey of life, you will encounter several people encouraging of your success as long as it is either beneficial to their success, or doesn’t confine their happiness. But when you meet those who have a spirit of peace about themselves, keep them around. You need encouraging support in your life.

Of course I’m transitioning out of the reality TV watching realm of my life, finishing this season out. So in watching Married to Medicine, I was reminded that regardless of the level of success, that green-eyed monster surfaces. What Mariah wanted was to put her “friends” Quad, Rico Chappell and even her “stylist” cousin in a position where they felt like they owed her something. But where she messed up was assuming these individuals weren’t just that-INDIVIDUALS. Having a mind of their own, they made decisions that were best for them, and if that meant including or excluding Ms. Mariah than so be it. It’s sad that women find themselves in competition, or ranking order just like Dr. Heavenly. Rather than being happy or supportive of Lisa’s event and forum, she felt she needed to prove herself worthy amongst the women on the panel. She didn’t want to fall short on the ranking list of success. She took it upon herself to include herself on the panel. She’s lucky Lisa is a lady, and conducts herself in such a manner (so far anyway, the season is just starting) because I might have politely escorted her off of that stage and into the parking lot. “Security!”

Take caution with those increasingly concerned in your endeavors. Consider their intent in inquiry. Are they interested out of concern or personal gain? “Smiling faces, smiling faces some times…” th_keepsmilincat (3)


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NOT The Time or Place

Screenshot (9) Screenshot (10)
Is setting something to consider when deciding to hash out disagreements? The outcome of many arguments could be different depending on setting and timing.

How ironic that the drama comes to a head at the Women’s Empowerment Network (reality TV sets the stage so often)

On the past episode of Married to Medicine, the ladies attended cast mate Lisa Nicole’s conference. Of course the stage was set when everyone but the infamous Mariah was in attendance. The ladies seemed to be getting along fine, until intermission in the relaxation room. Toya and Dr. Simone’s spat that truthfully shouldn’t have even aired on the show was the first offence in the TRANQUILITY ROOM. Toya should have addressed the situation about Simone dancing with her husband at the bowling alley, but that might have cut Toya’s storyline short. She’s not a doctor, she doesn’t work, she just spends money, even against her own parent’s advice. She doesn’t have anything interesting enough worth filming, so I guess she did the smart move in creating a story. I’m not a fan of their “beef” and really hope that was the last episode hashing out that issue.

When Mariah walks in to the conference late, my thoughts and the thoughts of many viewers were of inquiry. “Why show up? Showing up to bring drama?” She wanted a show from the time she entered the room, the late arrival, the speaking to Quad (appearance of being cordial), sitting next to Quad, and discussing their differences with Dr. Simone. No one asked what was going on between the two, she voluntarily gave information about Quad not holding conversation with her at the table.
I applaud Ms. Quad for approaching the situation to find out what was being discussed. However, it escalated the situation. Can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. The biggest mistake Ms. Quad made was showing her emotions, showing she was hurt, and cared about her friendship with Mariah. People like Mariah prey on weakness, and at that moment when Quad began crying, Mariah felt high on the throne, and even said so “I will not come down of my chariot…”
ATTN: Ms. Mariah you dethroned yourself the moment you spoke on the situation.

I will give it to her, she has some great one-liners. “I…with Transformers, and especially not Decepticons.” However the comment was directed towards herself. She tried maintaining her composure, but almost had a slip of tongue, wanting to shout out obscenities, and Ms. Quad called her on that!

As I’ve always been a fan of Quad, and she has always been my favorite. I do love the new Ms. Quad. She seems like a more pleasant person, she is genuinely friendly around all of the ladies, and doesn’t have to put on a façade of comfort to prove loyalty to a shady person with a diminutive personality who over compensates for it by projecting “royalty” while her inner hood-rat seeps out.
Definitely tuning in to the next episode to see how this drama concludes.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Reality Rewind


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My Name is _______________and I’m Addicted to Reality Tv

Like there is anything else to watch (especially since Scandal is off season).

Who doesn’t enjoy someone else’s drama. Anytime viewing a situation, and discussing with your girls over coffee makes someone else more famous and lucrative it shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing…RIGHT??? WRONG!!! People shouldn’t get paid for ignorance. All of us have our guilty pleasures, and for many of us it is Reality TV. Whether you prefer the “Everyday Joe” type of show- American Pickers, Storage Wars; the “Southern Country Living”- Honey Boo Boo, Toddlers and Tiaras, Swamp People, Duck Dynasty; the “Ratchet” – Bad Girls Club, Basket Ball Wives, Love & Hip Hop, Preacher’s Daughters; or the Real Housewives hosted by your favorite city; We begin watching these shows, and can give the run down on each character’s personality, and begin to associate certain things with these characters.

After watching the reunion shows for Basketball Wives LA, and Real Housewives of Atlanta, I called it quits. These shows started to feel petty and ignorant. The rose colored glasses were lifted, I began seeing why criticisms (especially from the black community) were valid. The behaviors of these women were no longer laughable, but shameful. I was determined to wing myself off of these reality shows. As I couldn’t just go cold turkey I would resist the most ratchet shows first. When I sat to think about the shows I could stand to miss, it was almost embarrassing to admit to watching so many. BAD GIRLS CLUB, BAD GIRLS CLUB ALLSTARS, BASKETBALL WIVES, BASKETBALL WIVES LA, BLACK INK CREW, BRAXTON FAMILY VALUES, CHRISSY & MR. JONES, HOLLYWOOD EXES, MARRYING THE GAME, MARRIED TO MEDICINE, LOVE & HIP HOP NY, LOVE & HIP HOP ATLANTA, R&B DIVAS ATLANTA, R&B DIVAS LA, TAMAR & VINCE, TI & TINY, and I’m sure I forgot a few, I only tend to remember them during their season. That was proof that I could bear to stop watching a few at a time.

I felt I could start off by missing the Love & Hip Hop shows. I’d been to a filming of these shows, and was able to seen the editing and direction and the lack of reality in the portrayal of their lives. I also plan on ridding my Monday nights of Basketball Wives, it became a cycle of the same dramatic story with different characters. Unsure of the next show to erase from my DVR memory, but for now I’ll leave the ones that haven’t totally turned me off.

I think my addiction began with Real World, Road Rules, and College Hill. From there each year a new show was added to the list, and from there every evening was consumed with these shows. I’d tweet and text about the different shenanigans of the night, comparing my opinion with others’. My DVR became my reliable friend. Making the viewing of these shows even better because I could skip through the commercials. I’m definitely not putting down those who choose to indulge in Reality TV, but I’m making the effort to turn to TRUE ACTORS in sitcoms, and dramatic series for my entertainment pleasures.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on May 10, 2014 in Reality Rewind


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Friend, Follower, or Minion?

Things can become really strange in the friendship realm of women. Its really important in keeping up with the changes in your life, your friendships grow with you. As your personality and interest change, grow, or develop, your friendships must be aligned accordingly. There are several different types of friendships to be developed, as you travel on your journey of life, it is up to you to decide the types of friendships you want and from whom.

Watching a recent episode of a reality show Married to Medicine, the demise of the friendship between character Quad and Mariah-both wives of doctors- put me in the mind of a potential friendship I decided to cut off. Unsure of what events led to the disdain of one another, what was clear was how bitter the Mariah character seemed to be because of it. Her comments of “making” Quad relevant and tones of “disloyalty” translated to me as jealousy. These behaviors exhibited by Mariah tell me a story of wanting a follower and not a friend, wanting a minion, someone to cling to her every word as if they were gold. Someone to ride along with whatever decision was being made. So when the demands are not met, when disagreements come about, that’s when disloyalty is perceived. I met a person who seemed to be a good friend as long as the that person was in charge or the center of everything. The moment things weren’t revolving or including said person, tones of anger, jealousy, hatred, disdain, and envy were obvious in all conversation.

In listening to a speaker discuss how to be a friend, she discussed knowing your friend well enough to know what type of friend you can be and what type of friendship you can expect from different people. I agree in part with what she said. I have friends that I do different things with. Because I like a variety of things, I know which of my friends would be good company on different excursions. I wouldn’t invite a friend to workout with me, knowing this friend hates working out, will complain the entire time and make my workout miserable. But the speaker spoke of friends that were dishonest, thieves, and even manipulative in disrupting the harmony within her marriage.
When is enough, enough? There are a lot more people in this world worthy of my friendship. Why keep a friend in your life that is untrustworthy? Why entertain a friend who causes chaos and strife in your life? Her reasoning was to be an ultimate friend to whomever. A friend that worked with that person on their faults, or remained loyal as they struggled through their personality dysfunction.

In understanding the “loving thy enemy” way of life, I also understand that He is still working on me.

Just a lil bit of the TRUTH

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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Reality Rewind


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Leaders of our World

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles, but today it means getting along with people.” Mahatma Gandhi

Who is a leader? What makes a leader? What qualities and characteristics make for a leader? Which unqualified leaders have previously held position? How do unqualified leaders gain position?

This blog was inspired by the viewing of the first episode of Blood Sweat & Heels, a show that airs on Bravo Sundays at 9/8c. On the episode the ladies were at a brunch hosted by cast member Daisy Lewellyn. Another cast member Demetria Lucas blogged on this brunch in regards to relationships and snooping on cheating men. There was something that stood out much more to me as a woman. A topic that I thought would generate more of a response than the broken record of cheating boyfriends. In one of the many topics discussed at the brunch the ladies had disagreements in regards to gender and leadership. Some comments made seemed to be those of old. Comments of men making better leaders than women, and women having the responsibility of following the leadership of a man. A comment that the host Daisy made referred to men being better leaders because of women and their monthly menstruation. *GASP* Do women really still think like this? I’m not as taken aback when men make comments such as this, but for a woman to think that because of our hormone fluctuation each month we wouldn’t make good leaders is mind boggling. This coming from a woman who is a style expert, TV Personality and has written a book. Which qualities must one possess to accomplish things of this caliber? Are those qualities similar to the qualities of a leader? She expounds on her views by expressing how she grew up admiring her father who was the head of the household. She has traditional views and feels that traditional men should be leaders. She even takes it as far as to say that women who have weaker boyfriends are lame and the woman is probably cheating on him.

Women can be leaders, women are capable of leading, and lead most things behind the scenes. Naturally women are nurturing and tend to use emotions in their actions. I agree in that aspect, but I also know some pretty heartless women.

Nonetheless we are all entitled to our opinions, and no one should be take a verbal beating because of it.

Just a lil of the TRUTH…

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Posted by on February 9, 2014 in Our Culture/Our World, Reality Rewind


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Idea Execution

“There are a lot of ignorant people in this world”
As an adult I realize what my mother and aunt have been trying to get me to understand my whole life.

There are visionaries and there are executors. Some people have both talents. The best visionaries have no clue how to produce the end result. They have a wealth of creativity, and no knowledge of the steps of the process.

When working on a project, or working in a group there is usually one leader. Some instances several leaders emerge and can become a potential mess! (different blog post). When an idea is born, the brainstorming process is the most exciting. The initial excitement is what gets that ball rolling, but as it takes off, it begins to get complicated. This is when the visionaries who lack leadership skills should take a seat.
Do you have the right to get upset with someone who is leading the idea/project? Do your feelings about the project change? Do you recant your idea and pull out of the process? If you can not be proactive or productive with ideas and details needed to proceed with execution, then be open to input.

This post was inspired by the reality show R&B Divas LA. Singer Kelly Price brought forth the idea of the “Not Yo Mamalogues” to the rest of the cast of the show. For several episodes all the ladies did was discuss what was going to be done. There was no progression on producing a show. Cast mates Chante Moore and Lil Mo spoke with a director and got the ball rolling. When Kelly Price found out about this, she began to lash out at cast mates and the newly hired director. She blamed it on lack of trust, but I believe because she wasn’t driving this project (due to her “busy” schedule) she had a problem. She pulled out of the show, and created unnecessary drama, all because she didn’t take leadership in her vision.

A visionary without leadership skills often times gets frustrated or upset because the leader begins to take charge. The visionary begins to feel as if their idea is being stolen and changed into something different than that which was initially agreed upon. Allow the leader to lead, bring forth the idea, and trust your team to execute said idea. People get hired for these types of things. If you don’t have the ability to execute move over and let someone else drive. If you could do it, it’d get done.

Leadership is as much of a gift or talent as creativity.

Just a lil of the Truth

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Posted by on October 6, 2013 in Daily READ, Reality Rewind


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